A Labor of Love

inside the Sacred Space Where Sisters Care for Sisters

It’s in the soft light of early autumn slipping through the window that Sister Xavier Bomberger finds a few moments’ peace. She sits quietly in the corner recliner that serves as her bed on weekend nights, keeping watch over the elder Sisters in Villa Clare at Monocacy Manor in Bethlehem, Pa. It’s in the quiet now – in the hours between lunch and dinner – that Sister checks her emails and revels in the silence.

A former provincial minister and general minister, her ministry these days – and during many times over her 57 years in religious life – is to care for those who cannot entirely care for themselves any longer. It’s a labor of love to which she has been drawn many times over the years.

“My mother always wished I’d become a nurse,” Sister says. “So I think that instinct was always within me.”

It was as a young Sister in 1970 that Sister Xavier first began helping out on weekends around Villa Clare, the space within Monocacy Manor dedicated to elder care. After many years of teaching and two tenures leading the international congregation in Rome, Sister has returned to what seems her natural place.

Today’s few moments of silence are much needed, as Sister Xavier is still grieving the recent loss of Sister Ruth Zacharias, who’d been under her care since 2017.

“It’s very emotionally draining,” she says of each time a Sister in her care is called home to God.

There is little time for rest. She tries to slip away twice a day for a few minutes of quiet time or prayer, but there are doctor appointments to schedule, home health aides with which to communicate, medications to organize and caretaker’s notes to record. Her work is often interrupted by her cell phone or by the alerts of bedside monitors.

“My job is to let them be independent to the degree they can be and as long as they can be … as long as they’re safe,” she says. She makes time in the evenings to sit with them in the TV room and to simply be present as their Sister, not just their caregiver. Saturday evenings are for ice cream and chit-chat.

Resourcefulness in elder care is not unlike that needed to oversee the international congregation as general minister, a role Sister Xavier filled from 2001 to 2011. She arrived in Rome to begin her first term on September 10, 2001. She watched in anguish and shock the next day as two planes hit the World Trade Center in New York City.

Sister returned in 2011 to care for her own aging mother, who she lost five years ago. She worked alongside Sister M. Virginelle Makos and then moved back into the Villa Clare ministry full time when Sister Virginelle moved onto other responsibilities. Sister Xavier has cared for others while caring for herself, working through two knee surgeries and a foot surgery that had her rolling through the Villa on an assistive scooter for nearly a year.

“I try to plan, but I always have to be flexible, attentive and focused,” Sister says in her soft, serene voice. There’s never anger, but sometimes frustration that those in her care still try to do too much on their own instead of asking for help. “It’s what I’m here for.”

She’s gained an informal education on the job and has been at this long enough to know her way around a medical chart and to instinctively sense when something isn’t right with one of the Sisters under her care. She accompanies them to medical appointments so she can advocate for them and be sure of their treatment plans.

“The aides who come in often mistake me for an RN,” Sister says. “I am grateful to them because every time they’ve come in, they’ve taught me something new.”

Sister helps others transition to Villa Clare when the time is right and helps them navigate their individual limitations in performing daily tasks. She assists them in getting to Mass and also in knowing when it’s okay to miss Mass on a particularly difficult day.

Whether its with the little things or with moving to the Villa full time, Sister’s role is one of guidance. “Most come to the decision on their own,” she says. “It’s heartbreaking to watch them go through it sometimes,” she says. “But I also rejoice with them when they heal or overcome a health hurdle.”

It’s the kind of job where she serves others their meals before she eats her own – oftentimes standing alone for a quick bite – and where she always seems to be thinking ahead to what needs to be done next. It doesn’t seem to phase her.

“They’re my sisters,” she says. “And knowing that I’m helping them … that’s what it’s all about.”

It’s a sunny afternoon in the midst of summer’s last gasp when Sister Georgette Dublino bounds out of her car and toward the entrance of Vincentian Home in Pittsburgh, moving at her trademark swift pace. Her tote bags are filled with supplies and goodies intended for some of the eldest members of the School Sisters of St. Francis who, due to their complex medical needs, are in long-term care at the suburban facility. Sister makes one last check of her bags before beginning her Thursday afternoon rounds.

Today is a beautiful day, so Sister Georgette brings three elder Sisters – one by one – to the outdoor courtyard for fellowship and sweet treats. She helps Sister Grace Chermack read the birthday cards that keep trickling in in honor of her 90th and shares chocolates and ice cream with Sisters Margaret Elaine and Rose Ann Rovnak, sisters by blood and in community.

These are duties she shares with Sister Lorita Kristufek, who does shopping for the Sisters and handles special requests. Sometimes it’s new slippers or a preferred brand of tissues. Other times, it might be a Sister’s favorite snack.

They collaborate on celebrating the elder Sisters’ birthdays, feastdays and jubilees, as well, setting special places at dinner on feastdays, decorating bedrooms for special birthdays and being at the bedside during medical crises.

“We must take quiet time ourselves to build up quiet from within, so we may share Jesus with them,” Sister Georgette says.

The pair plans regular enrichment activities – outings, discussion groups, spiritual activities and even video viewings where small groups gather together for popcorn and to binge-watch I Love Lucy marathons. All are currently following a short video series on The Blessings of Aging by Sister Joan Chittister, OSB. Its about giving the older Sisters many opportunities to grow.

A visit to Vincentian can leave Sister Georgette weary. The patience she shows is sometimes draining, but the emotional toll is much greater. It pains her to see her Sisters declining and, often most painfully, facing severe memory issues.

“She has the heart of an angel,” Sister Lorita says of Sister Georgette. “She ministers to them with such grace, compassion and love.”

The Pittsburgh-based Sisters navigated a particularly challenging transition with the sale of Mount Assisi motherhouse complex in August 2019. Twelve sisters remain there as residents of Mt. Assisi Place, the personal care home carrying forward the Sisters’ Catholic mission. Such a change would take an emotional toll on anyone, much less Catholic Sisters who first came to Mount Assisi as teenagers.

The elder Sisters now have an ongoing responsibility to each other. “They too have a ministry,” Sister Georgette says. “They have a mission to build community and to be present to the other residents.”

Sister Marian Sgriccia, a nurse who spent 19 years as administrator of Marian Hall Home, works tirelessly behind the scenes to monitor the conditions of and coordinate healthcare services for the elder Sisters in Pittsburgh. Several other Sisters also make regular visits to Vincentian Home so that, at least twice a week, members of the community are on site. “These are their last days on this earth. I feel we are accompanying them on life’s journey, a step or two from entering heaven,” says a frequent visitor. “It’s very personal for me.”

It’s work that family does for family and Sisters do for Sisters. “Our work is so important, and we’re constantly collaborating,” says Sister Lorita. “God put us there to help them through new changes and to help them help each other.”